The other half of my soul is gone (Part 1)

I had never wanted to get an Australian Shepherd because I thought it was cruel their tails were docked. One Valentine's day (2003) I got this little card from my best friend with a blue merle aussie on it and just thought it was the most precious dog on the face of this planet. As a 14 year old girl, it was all impulsivity and the cute things in life that were part of coping with the ridiculous hormonal changes that happen. SOLD!

Never became obsolete. As it always does...

I consulted my parents to get a dog (albeit naively... anyone with an aussie understands) and the classified section of the newspaper religiously to find a blue merle puppy within a decent price range ($300). Finally found a lady in Salida who had a litter born January 18th, 2004. Because of the distance we decided to compromise and find a destination midway- less stress on all fronts. It was Good Friday 2004, when my family and I went up to the Thornton or Brighton Fairgrounds (some kind of dog show... my memory gets a bit hazy here) and met this mottled furball with green and gold marbles for eyes and one black- socked paw. The lady appropriately named this dainty legged pup- Tenderfoot.

Something cosmic happened... I can't exactly explain what/how but just think of when Harry Potter gets matched with his wand.. (corny, I know, but it's the example that came to mind)... Nevertheless, All felt right with the world... 

Sydney Truganini Adelaide Bugir. 

We already had a chow chow named Coco, who we brought with us when we came to the States from Australia. She was my mother's dog and I was so adamant about having my own velcro dog. We introduced Sydney to Coco, much to the matron dog's dismay... It was clear who was alpha-bitch. 

I had my own companion. 

That night, I took her for a walk so she could clear her little bladder and we went to sleep. She peed on the carpet and I started having regrets as I was cleaning (think postpartum depression kind of regrets). BUT, I was in this for life. Her life was in my hands. Couldn't wait to see her capabilities and what essentially I was getting into...She was so smart and picked up sitting straight away. On Easter Sunday, we got a Beagle named Max and that was my brother's dog. Syd and Max were instantly the best of friends. In retrospect, he probably thought more of the world of her and she was just so ADD.. took after me, in that sense... 

Those two were a comedic duo and definitely worked in concertina destroying our material possessions... One story that comes to mind-

My dad had wanted a Linden tree. It's a Ukrainian thing. Linden trees can be used as tea for fevers and some other old wives' tale mythology I can't necessarily remember. Anyway, Syd formulated this plan with Max to take down this tree... My parents had just planted the relatively large sapling in the rock bed we had in the backyard of our old house. She saw the methods used to get the tree into the ground and worked on uprooting it. Max had an oral fixation with wood (get your mind out of the gutter...) and chewed/pulled the poor tree (as well as our deck). A moment later, we looked out the window and saw the two puppies running with this tree. One mouth on each side just playing tug of war and having a grand time. It's hard not to be mad at something so...Hilarious? Is that the right word? Perhaps, clever...
Needless to say, we replaced the tree with another, older Linden tree.

These kinds of shenanigans also happened to various homemade sausage logs (back when my dad... like many dads... was obsessed with his smoker), clothes, books, pet beds, toys, and, again, whatever material possessions. I knew my Syd was the mastermind... I raised her and it seems "miss smarty-pants attitude" rubbed off during the bonding process. 

I graduated high school in 2007. We left the dogs outside because of celebrations and didn't want to come home to accidents. The following morning, the doorbell rang... animal control was on the other end and had warned us that our neighbour(s) had complained the dogs were barking. We explained our situation, animal control gave us resources and took our side. Needless to say, my temper got the best of me and I gave those neighbours a piece of my mind... For anyone who has an issue with dogs barking... talk to the problem first before hiding behind law enforcement... Be an adult...

We lost Coco October 2nd, 2008. This was the first time had ever been exposed to euthanasia in animals but it was my mum's dog and we had the other two still at home. It didn't feel so empty... There was emptiness there but it wasn't like coming home to an empty house. Coco has a special place in my heart and I feel like I'm not doing her justice by devoting only a paragraph to her but she's a different story. One day she'll get her own tribute.

Down to 2.

One of Sydney's favourite things to do was go "Bye-bye". She was the first one in the car... I took her with me (alternated with my rabbit) to the University sometimes just because she was my companion and it was nice stress relief for the other students. We even made it into an issue of the Boulder Daily Camera sitting outside the campus stairs. Having her in the car was a joy. Could just take her anywhere and yak away about the day. She was such a great ear to vent to and very aware of the surroundings. 

One car trip to Boulder, we were waiting at the light on Table Mesa road and there was a motorcyclist behind us. The noise or the masked face of the rider made Syd so angry. She growled, snarled, and barked the loudest I had ever heard her bark. Quite frankly, I was scared. Syd never did that to any of the motorcyclists in our neighborhood... hmm. 

In my last semester of undergrad, my box turtle and best friend, Bindie Sue, passed away traumatically (September 23rd, 2011). I was a nightmare. Skipped classes, didn't shower for days on end and couldn't sleep in my own room. Sydney was my saving grace throughout that ordeal. She was so scared of that turtle... She slept on the bed with me, which she usually didn't do (her fur made her hot quickly and she was independent with which to begin)... licked the tears off my face and was the perfect cuddle buddy.

October 19th, 2012. Max passed away. He was a genetic mosaic of every textbook problem. Don't get me wrong, I loved that boy to death but he was always at the vets office. The people we got him from named him "Cash" and, sure as hell, he cost us a lot of cash... Nevertheless he was such a beautiful soul and a funny little beagle. I loved how he would cuddle up with you on the couch and had no consideration for personal space. He was 8 years old when we had to have him euthanized. Max had a stroke from which he never recovered.

At least we still had Syd and the foster kittens...

We made the best for her as best we could. Spoiled her to death with Goodtimes pawbenders, lots of "bye-byes"/walks, and toys out the wazoo. Tried taking her with me to the doggy day care where I worked. She didn't much enjoy other dogs' company. Very velcro. Very bossy. Very human-oriented. My brother used to tease her by opening my bedroom door rapidly and singing a part of "Wonderlust King" by Gogol Bordello obnoxiously... She got so upset by that.

September 21st, 2013... This is the hardest and darkest part of my life that I don't really want to delve into. Those who know me, know what this day signifies and Syd was there with me when it all was happening. I looked into her eyes as I had one toe in the grave and realized she was the reason why I stuck around on this planet. Depression is something that I face every odd year... It's seasonal but it's probably not going to go away anytime soon. I believe in riding out the storm, giving up thoughts sometimes, using it as a creative outlet, but never in imbibing prescription anti-depressants.

October 2nd, 2015. I took Syd for a drive with me after an unnerving night's sleep. There were so many thoughts flooding through my mind. Mentally needed clarity, so we went up to the mountains. She was so beautiful just sitting in the seat next to me, looking out the window and at me while I was talking to her. Syd knew me better than I knew myself. I felt at peace with her. I apologized to her for being kind of out of it and not being a present animal mother. We listened to Bastille's Bad Blood album in its entirety and switched to Vance Joy. It was beautiful seeing the changing leaves and having ice cream together up in Nederland. Dorothy and Toto. I had a ZZ Ward concert that night so needed to get home and prep for that.

October 3rd, 2015 is a day I will never forget. Sydney was not herself. So lethargic, belabored breathing and her abdomen seemed not quite right to me. She didn't eat at all and didn't even react to when we asked her if she wanted to go "Bye-Bye" or when I put cheese (Her fave) right in front. Called the vet, got there by 11:05am. She couldn't walk much. [I got scared because in February, while I was visiting my grandma, Syd collapsed and was struggling. She had pericardial fluid build up in her heart. That was drained. Syd was okay after that but according to the paperwork it was indicative of cancer.] Her abdomen had masses in there that ruptured. Syd's body was filling up with fluid.

Intuitively, I knew this was the beginning of the end and sure enough... It was. My life crashed at 12:47pm with her euthanasia. My brother and best friend were there with me. I called my best friend because, in March, I had to euthanize her dog so I thought she could probably use the closure with Sydney. So glad to have these two beautiful souls with me.

Now we're at no dogs but a rabbit and a cat, both were raised by Sydney. They were the three amigos. Chai, my cat, is very lost just like me. I'm not sure how Winchester is processing this all. We're in the phantom stage where it still feels as though her presence is in the house but it's not. That duality is what is leading me to emotional breakdowns and thoughts I haven't had in such a long time. The other half of my soul is gone. She wasn't just my dog, she was the best friend I needed for this leg of the life tour... She raised me when I thought I was raising her. She taught me to love unconditionally. To nurture that child within and the maternal nature towards all living beings. It's hard to culminate the memories at the moment as this is so raw. Not sure how many parts there will be but just needed to scribe the bare bones. What's so strange about all of this is Gwen Stefani was my hero throughout high school and Syd died on her birthday...

So thankful for the support of friends and family. Really having a hard time standing on my own two feet but you guys have been incredible.

Non-Human Animals' Actualities in the Scope of the Indigenous Australian Lens

 

Abstract

Australian Aboriginal history from over forty thousand years to modern day has been passed down orally, making it a personal spirituality rather than a manuscript as in the western tradition. Tribes were fragmented throughout the regions of this vast continent. The colonization of the continent by white settlers in the 1800's wiped away many of the tribes, forcing them to create alliances. The romanticism of Dreamtime, as well as its negation by western missionaries, elevated this complex tradition. Indeed it was very complex. It provided knowledge of the land and awareness of spirituality that lead to consideration of the time before all was incarnated. This work highlights four spectrums of non-human animals - in environmental interactions, food sources, medicinal uses and totemic structures.

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Introduction

Aboriginal Dreamtime is more of a spiritual state with a mythological story telling tradition, than a mainstream religion. There are approximately five hundred tribes scattered all over Australia, each passing down their stories of creation. These five hundred are then broadly categorized into two divisions - inland or coastline. The division is based on environmental considerations as well as in differences of how life and death are viewed.

Dreamtime describes the landscapes, stars and galaxies, plants animals and humans before their carnal fruition. The four main precepts of dreamtime are: the origin of all things, the spiritual influence of ancestors, the inevitable cycle of birth and death and the power source of life.  Dreamtime myths explain why native animals have their specific characteristics, such as how the kookaburras got its laugh, why frogs croak, why some birds lay their eggs in the sand and how the Kangaroo got its tail.

"Coming from widely divergent sources, it is natural that there should be inconsistencies and contradictory elements. This is the case in the Creation myths and the folklore concerning animals when the land was still in the Dreamtime. From some legends we learn that animals and insects were brought to life at the touch of Yhi, the sun Goddess, and that Man, the final creation, was made in the bodily and mental form of Baiame, the Great Spirit (Reed, 1994)."

Even though there is such a naturalistic beauty in this spirituality it is vital to remember the violent history to which the natives and their land have been subjected. The indigenous tribes had passed down stories and explored the land ever since Australia split from Gondwana, reiterating the forty thousand plus years. This nominal forty thousand years is in accordance with orated history but current anthropological consensus suggests it is more around the sixty-five thousand year mark.

To understand the Aboriginal perspective on animals it is important to understand their human and tribal history. It is not simply an anthropocentric perspective. It is to contrast the consistent discrediting of indigenous culture with the superiority of the white man towards the unknown. This allows us to observe the resultant effects upon the humanity of the indigenous and their environment. Their forty thousand years of experiencing the land and passing down expectations to progeny of how to live off the land is beneficial for the environment and there is little evidence of resource exploitation. On the other hand, the convicts who arrived from the United Kingdom to New South Wales, Australia on January 26^th 1788 had minimal resources from the First Fleet, but they did have an expansive exploitative mentality from Mother England.

According to a well-known naturalist named Carl Lumholtz, “It is a well-known fact that the Australian natives are almost wholly devoid of religious susceptibilities.”[1] This value judgment, coming from the mid-nineteen hundreds, shows the formalities of the western world and places a positive spin on missionary failures. This statement also underscores the lack of spiritual knowledge of the western world while simultaneously negating the value of indigenous practices.

Spiritual totems guide the Aboriginal tribes, manifesting themselves in animal bodies or retaining their soul form as in the Dreamtime. This spiritual knowledge could aid the future generations incarnating with their tribulations and assist in "white man" and indigenous coexistence.

"We also believed that this would lead to non-aboriginal people developing a better understanding of our Ngarrindjeri traditions and our relationships to the land, water, trees, plants, and animals (Grim 2001)."

In order to try to combat this culture difference, certain tribes have created cultural centers. Sharing traditions through song, dance and other forms is a fairly recent innovation. Preservation of oral traditions - stories of the time before becoming carnal beings -from generation to generation for tens of thousands of years to teach those who will listen. A lot of these culture centers are funded by state governments. It must be noted that the national government of Australia apologized to the tribes as a whole of the malevolent historical events that took place and the countless "stolen generations" decimating tribe populations.

"We do all these things, sharing our culture to develop better understanding, to help overcome false interpretations and racism toward Ngarrindjeri people, and to help correct stereotyped history about the European settlement of the land (Grim 2001)."

Whether it is the Ngarrindjeri people or the Kakadu people, it is important, from an outsider perspective, to observe the similarities and differences of each tribe rather than lump Indigenous Australian Dreamtime into one category. One must also take into account the romanticized perspective perpetuated by scholars who do not fully explore the balance through careful multi-dimensional analysis.

This work will only skim the surface of this subtradition's perspective on animals by toeing through the tribe's innate survival techniques in the environment and practicalities as well as a woven theme of totemic structures.

Animals in Medicine

When non-aboriginals settled on the island continent of Australia, they brought with them diseases unknown to the natives. Smallpox was one of the more prevalent diseases and as a result many individuals passed away because of unknown treatment. Another devastating aspect was the introduction of invasive species that have destroyed native fauna. These invasive species (a whole different debate) both flora and fauna also encompassed humans. These humans would have had a lot of sick individuals from the voyage to this new world and affected their native counterparts. This potent combination of non-indigenous humans, flora and fauna would have had a deleterious impact on potential food sources. This problem would have affected the health of both the indigenous and convict immigrants.

It must be noted that according to a study in 2007, indigenous health reports comparing North America, Australia and New Zealand, Australia rated the lowest.

"Much of the disease among Indigenous Australians is preventable being the result of poverty, overcrowding, poor sanitation, low levels of education, poor nutrition and poor access to accurate diagnosis and treatment (Mackay 2007)." 

The average age of Indigenous Australians is seventeen years less than non-Aboriginals based on literacy rates and lack of western medicinal care. Several charities have focused on supplying children with literacy backpacks and other educational tools to help their life expectancy. Staying true to tradition and tribal methods, the tribe makes sure that their children are taught their way and not become too westernized. Of course this is a heavy generalization as there are some of the five hundred tribes that do implement a literacy structure in order for survival of their clans. As in many human endeavors, there are purists who sacrifice the common good at the altar of belief.

The particular regional tribe covered in this paper is located near Kakadu National Park.

Kakadu is a western mispronunciation of Gagadju, a former language found in this region of the Northern Territory. Rock formations and wetlands in the Kakadu National Park are said to be caused by the Rainbow serpent, a spirit of the Dreamtime who came at the beginning of time in the form of a snake and flooded the lands only to be sent up back to the sky. As a result, prismatic crystals are found in this region and are used by the medicine-man, known as Margi, of the clan.

"Prismatic crystals, in the form of granite, are honored by Aboriginals as sacred and powerful stones. Allowing for increased protection and abundance, granite has been used to strengthen the hair and relieve ailments associated with the face and head. It is important to note that the Rainbow Serpent of the Dreamtime laid her eggs of granite. This myth further extends the inextricable link between the animal of creation, the animals and clans of the present environment to their medicinal wellness (Clarke, 2008)."

Another example of animals in medicine is the calling of totemic structures (more on this subject later) to heal the body ailments and addiction problems. One of the most prevalent problems facing the entire Australian Aboriginal community is alcoholism. Alcohol, before the settlers, was a weak potion made from plants in the local area such as Pandanus plant (prominent in Northern Territory, what the Kakadu tribe would drink), honey (from either honey pot ants or from bees, depending on geographic range), coconut (north-eastern) and certain types of eucalyptus gum trees (southern Australian states and Tasmania). The introduction of white settlers introduced stronger forms of alcohol and, essentially indentured servitude in return.

"Many Aboriginal labourers were paid in alcohol or tobacco (if their wages were not stolen). In the early 1800s a favourite spectator sport of white people in Sydney was to ply Aboriginal men with alcohol and encourage them to fight each other, often to the death (Korf 2014)."

Recent statistics of this problem- seventeen percent of the indigenous population binge drink and forty-eight percent of mothers drink while pregnant.^[2] Some tribes are more susceptible to alcoholism whereas others are finding ways to mend this insidious disorder. Even though alcoholism is often portrayed as a prevalence in indigenous communities (even in Native North American cultures), it is actually a misconception. Most corroboree dances, song circles, cane toad races and other Aboriginal events are alcohol-free events, much unlike non-aboriginal events. The unfortunate twist to this misconception is that even though many Aborigines do not drink, those that do drink excessively. In this case, excess is upward of 12 drinks in one sitting, multiple times per week. Therefore those that do drink excessively need intervention before an alcohol-related death occurs. Intervention through spiritual totemic structures is an example of the reliance of humans on nonhuman animals beyond sustenance.

"The men also talk about their spirit totems, animals like turtles, fish and wallabies. One goal of the Healing Program is to help Aboriginals find their personal spirit totem. Calling on animal spirits is definitely out of vogue in Western culture. As the writer notes, 'That does not translate easily to a Western mindset focused on client outcomes and objectives (Fitzgerald 2011)."

There is another example in the book Secrets of Aboriginal Healing: A Physicist's Journey with a Remote Australian tribe which explains an outsider named Gary Holz receiving a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. He was told that there was no cure and decided to engage with the Aboriginal community. In this book, co-written by his wife Robin, explores using Aboriginal dreamtime by ways of spiritual totems and reprogramming the subconscious. They explore the practices of going on a walkabout and participating in spiritual events. In this manner they engage the thought patterns of why illnesses happen, and how this relates to the subconscious. This is an example of externalizing ancient medicine through animal spirits and reprogramming the psyche to cure trials and tribulations.

Animals in the Environment and Symbolism

An important part of Aboriginal culture is going on a walkabout, learning about oneself and being present in one’s role in the environment. This is similar to various North American Indian tribes in their Vision Quests. Much of the walkabout is focused on observation of animals, learning familiarity with surroundings, communicating with the creator and one’s predecessors who may be either spirit or non-human animal in form. This knowledge is used to understand one’s role and expected behaviors in the clan. The outcomes enable one to hunt animals for sustenance, ensuring that those animals are not ancestors (more in "food sources and uses"). The duration of the walkabout is varied and the legends become a guide for the individual to survive and expand their understanding of their environment.

"When you go on the walkabout as a young Aboriginal child, you mimic the trajectories of the primordial ancestors in walking the Songlines. When you walk those trajectories, those sacred itineraries of the time when the primordial Ancestors walked and sang, and the song sang the world into existence, you were involved both in an act of remembrance but also in an act of creation. Because the world at your feet both exists and yet, by definition, is waiting to be born. We tried to describe this other universe as the Dreaming or Dreamtime, but that turns out to be a very crude and misguided simile. That universe is not an abstraction. It’s literally another world (Davis 2004)."

The interior Australian continent is arid. Much of the weather patterns were explained by animal manifested spirits being slighted or the natural predator-prey relationship. Also explained by nonhuman animal spiritual relationships are natural environment features. Natural features such as Ayers Rock or Uluru are analogous to sacred temples. These elements were formed by spirits and therefore, any spectator must revere this work simply by observance. Disturbing an already fragmented spirituality and environment is just as irreverent as was the conversion process in the beginning of Australia's formation. A mythological example of specific features is "a distinctive patch of ochre on a hillside in the Flinders Range was all that remained of an emu hounded to its death by a pack of Dreamtime dogs (Allan 2009)."

Many, if not all, Aborigines orally pass down generational stories of their totem animal's origins and the earthly patterns. These are often as a result of the ritualistic dreamtime walkabout.

Celestial stories also indicate animal involvement. In the particular story of Why Kookaburra Laughs At Dawn, the sun, moon and stars are being formed but need an indicator when the sun’s revolutions occur. Upon creation, the beings on earth needed an alarm clock to wake up from their dreaming. The creator spirits Punjel and Baiame heard a kookaburra (translated from gogobera which means "the laughing jackass") laugh and asked the bird to announce the start of each new day to which he happily obliged.

"Baiame had begun his acts of creation, but had not yet determined what form his people would take. These animals he had made were his first experiments... Baiame preferred to remain in his home in the Milky Way which he shares with another powerful spirit, whose name was Punjel...The huge animals of the darkness have had their day. Now it is time to people this world of mine with little animals, small birds and reptiles, even tiny insects that we can scarcely see, and to put silvery fish into the rivers and lakes...kookaburra, before the sky fire is lit each morning Baiame will hang a star in the eastern sky (Reed 1994)."

One of the ways aborigines pay homage to the environment is by painting the land and the animals they have encountered. Western paintings of the landscape describe the individual components comprising the segment of land and give the spectator a snapshot moment. Aboriginal paintings

"contain stories rooted in Dreamtime mythology. On others, they are stylized navigational aids to food sources, or spiritual maps pertaining to sacred sites, and sometimes even dispense moral guidance and entertainment. Always, they express the imprint of the land on the native psyche (Bachman 1994)."

There is a deeply profound connection between the surroundings and other living beings. As a result, this gives a big picture effect rather than a candid glimmer into someone's life. In the indigenous worldview, the environment is an inclusive, self-regulating entity that responds according to the emotions and spirituality projected upon it.

Animals as food sources and uses

Anthropologists argue that the first human, non-human animal interaction on the still forming continent of Australia was probably negative. Predecessors to Kangaroos, known as the Sthenurinae, around the Pleistocene era, were larger than modern day fauna. Aboriginal ancestors most likely viewed these giants as a threat (likewise from the non‑human's awareness), thus it was "either I kill him or he kills me" mentality.

“…the coexistence of Aborigines and the megafauna is indicated in late Pleistocene deposits.[3] Since the impact of Aboriginal hunting and habitat alteration have been implicated in the demise of this fauna[4], the first relationship between people and kangaroos was probably negative from the animal’s perspective (Croft 1991).”

Prior to colonization, the Kakadu Aborigines predominantly ate whatever they could find. There were, like the Abrahamic traditions, exceptions of what not to eat, especially if it pertained to the animals that represented their tribes.

“A wide range of plants and animals were eaten, and insect foods included certain ants, grubs and beetles, while streams provided fish and eels. Many birds were eaten, including waterfowl, scrub fowl, the Cassowary and the Jabiru. The yellow fat of the goanna (a large Australian lizard) was considered a delicacy (Welch 2014).”

Another factor to take into consideration is their perspective on introduced animals. There is little recollection of the first time Indigenous Australians encountered livestock and other animals that the colonists brought with them. However based on the diet structure of native fauna versus introduced, it would be quite on par and therefore resource competition would have been prevalent. Farmsteads set up near billabongs and other watering holes encroached on native territory, displacing individuals who would have walked straight through the land. Habitat fragmentation would have also called for crop and livestock protection and any intruder seen on the premises. This would have depleted an otherwise bountiful fauna and impacted food resources for indigenous Australians. The quality of diet would have been (and still continues to be) dismal in comparison to pre‑colonial days.

In an attempt to adjust to western ways Aborigines set up cattle ranches. Implementing the new settler’s way of life into the indigenous lifestyle, they capitalized on the cattle trade. Understanding the environment and learning about the animals ensured a consistent food supply for both indigenous and white Australians. It changed the relationship of both aborigines and white man by creating an economy and co-dependence. Unfortunately, this sometimes manifested itself in an exploitative way. Nevertheless, Aborigines could keep their dreamtime traditions and learn some modern skills to survive in this newly industrializing continent.

Animals were not just used for food, but hides for clothes and vessels, bones for ritualistic adornments and weaponry, and suchlike. Ensuring that whatever animal was slaughtered, parts could be salvaged, therefore utilizing the whole animal rather than simply just the meat and letting all the rest return to the soil or be wasted. Ochre paints were used mark the body in tribal adornments for ritualistic dances and song ceremonies. Emu fat now replaced by vegetable fats or even butter primed skin for these paints.

“People climbed trees to catch animals and reach native beehives for honey. Wax from the beehives was used to seal water containers, and as a resin when making weapons and for decoration. Throughout much of Australia, a small hatchet with a stone head was used to cut toe holds into trees to assist in climbing.... strong jungle vines are used like ropes to assist climbing trees in search of both animals and native bee hives’ wax and honey (Welch 2014).”

Totemic structure

"Winjarning Brothers and the Evil One" provides an example of animal equality from kangaroos to "...a dingo, a Goanna, a snake, a frilled lizard, a crow, a magpie, and a wombat... A centipede darted out, and met the same fate. A moth fluttered upwards and was caught with difficulty (Reed, 1994)."

The story tells of an evil spirit who beguiles and kills a woman. Her brothers and husband's brothers seek out the evil spirit in human form and eventually destroy him after the spirit has taken many animal forms.

The clan’s totem highlights another aspect of relationships between animals and Aboriginals. In the Kakadu, lizards, insects and birds typically represent clans. These animals are lower in the food chain hierarchy but are the respected essence of the clan. Animals that are ritually important also have separate names.

"For instance two lizards that look quite similar - Gould's Goanna Varanis gouldii and Sand Goanna V. panoptes are respectively Djani and Garawan. The first is food for anyone, but the second is only for those who pass 'ceremony tests'. Animals that have no important stories or are not food items are often lumped together. For instance small brown wading birds are collectively called 'Kolarawikwik' and medium-sized white or grey birds are all 'Marouk' (Goodfellow, 2014)."

There are specific animals that represent a clan within the particular tribe. If you were to say someone is "scorpion dreaming" or "taipan dreaming" it is their particular spiritual energy manifested in that particular animal. These animals have symbolic significance because of observed powers and characteristics. Take for instance the snake. One can readily understand injecting venom bringing death to its victim or the act of constricting symbolizing the impulse nature of creation.

"The Aborigines used the word djang to describe the spiritual energy that attached to spots hallowed by their connections with the legendary past, seeking to tap it through rituals and dances that linked the living to their remote ancestors (Allan 2009)."

Dreamtime totems are classified into the following categories-individual, gender, sectional and sub-sectional, clan, local, moiety, conception, birth, death and combination or multiple. The individual totem is usually manifested through walkabout as an initiation rite of passage. An animal spirit resonates with the individual in tune with the environment and becomes a part of that human. Genders are usually represented with an emblem of a non‑human animal signifying the difference of the genders and their solidarity with one another. Sectional and sub-sectional totems are based on categorization of lineages. Tribes are divided by up to eight sections, based on matrilineal descents. The sectional and sub‑sectional totems formed on kinship adopt a certain mutual ritual to represent the bond based on the particular animal emblem. Examples are mainly birds such as wedge-tailed eagles and ibis, whereas the more southern clans in the Kakadu tribes have macropods such as wallabies.^[5]

Birth and death are one of the four major bullet points, if you will, of Dreamtime. Conception and pregnancy is a time allocated before the child is implanted in the womb. The prospective mother calls upon her totem to envision her child's destiny and future before conception.

"The child may appear in conjunction with a natural phenomenon, often one connected with the father, with his country, or his social unit. This is the child's conception totem (Monroe 2011)."

The birth totem is often associated with the Rainbow Serpent as he or she, depending on region, is the symbol of fertility and children. Death, on the other hand, begs for the totem to be removed from the individual's carnal bondage. Any ancestral name must not be spoken of again after a passing but simply the ancestor's totem can remain with the clan.

Conclusion

Many aboriginals have a profound respect for their surroundings. They intimately understand what it means to be a part of the environment and that animals have an important place upon this earth. This is something upon which many western anthropologists have commented. Furthermore, they have noted their inability to practice or have the knowledge to implement into their own lives. The tradition of Dreamtime has surpassed its violent history and remained steadfastly true to ancestral traditions versus converting to western traditions embodies by the settlers of the early 1800's. There have even been recent (in the past one hundred years or so) cross-cultural alliances, in economizing livestock production and improving the lives of the rural indigenous communities.

The Kakadu tribe believes that their ancestors take the form of an animal in the next Dreamtime. Their animal totems essentially dictate diet, in order to not eat a particular ancestor, as well as how to overcome sicknesses such as a chronic disorder as alcoholism. Certain totems of clans emulate the characteristics present in tribal members to which they manifest in song and dance. The connection between deceased family members and their spirits as manifested in animals underscores the depth of connection between Aborigines and the wildlife of the Northern Territory.

"The Margi, or medicine men, of the Kakadu tribe, tell the latter that the bird is a relative of theirs and that when they hear it twittering the Yalmuru, or Iwaiyu, of someone, such as their father or father's brother, is close at hand and will show them where there is game to be captured. The Margi says, You will not see anything but you will feel it, that is the Iwaiyu, inside you (Spencer, 1914)."

The natural environment features, according to Dreamtime, is because of spirits and non‑human animals laying dormant in the time before our time. Imagery of preceding gargantuan megafauna underneath the layers of earth carving mountains and cliffs into this vast continent.

"According to Aboriginal mythology, much of the Australian landscape is populated by huge hibernating beasts, and etched by the marks of their passing (Bachman 1994)."

Whilst this paper only covered certain elements of the Aboriginal Dreamtime, particularly in the Northern Territory, there are many other facets and perspectives that warrant deeper discussions. Generalizations of tribes and romanticizing ideologies suppresses the core essences of these clans and the individuals comprising them. Lumping the five hundred odd tribes into one, despite some degree of overlap in mythology, limits the tradition.

Stories get lost in the flames of ignorance and true history never makes its way into textbooks or public awareness. Clearing up misconceptions about the indigenous being heavy alcoholics because of their oppression is another factor to be considered. This, by no means is discrediting of western culture, but rather diagramming indigenous perspectives on animals by way of their history.

References

Allan, T. (2009). Myths of the World: The Illustrated Treasury of the World's Greatest Stories.            London: Duncan Baird Publishers Ltd. Pp. 290-305.

Bachman, B. (1994). Australian Colors: Images of the Outback. New York: Amphoto Art.

Clarke, P. (2008).“Aboriginal healing practices and Australian bush medicine”.
            Journal of the Anthropological Society of South Australia. Vol. 33.

Croft, D. B. (1991). Australian People and Animals in Today's Dreamtime: The Role of            Comparative Psychology in the Management of Natural Resources. New York:            Praeger Publishers.

Davis, W. (2004, May 27th). “The Ethnosphere and the Academy.” Keynote Speech at       Indigenous Knowledges: Transforming the Academy Conference. Pennsylvania State     University

Fitzgerald, M. (2011). Australian Aborigines ask the Animal Spirits to Help Fight Alcoholism.    Latitudenews.com. Accessed: November 23^rd, 2014.

Goodfellow, D. (2014).“The Aboriginal Classification of Animals”

            http://www.earthfoot.org/lit_zone/aniclass.htm. Accessed: December 1st, 2014.

Grim, J. A. (2001). "Kumarangk: The Survival of a Battered People". Indigenous Traditions           and Ecology: The Interbeing of Cosmology and Community. Cambridge: Harvard University Press.

Korf, J. (2014). Aboriginal Culture - Health- Aboriginal Alcohol Consumption.     www.creativespirits.info. Accessed: December 1^st, 2014.

MacKay, H. (2007). Advance Australia... Where?: How we've changed, why we've changed and           what will happen next?. Sydney: Hachette Australia

Monroe, M. H. (2011, September 30th). Australia: The Land Where Time Began.        http://austhrutime.com/aboriginal_totemism.htm. Accessed: December 5th, 2014

Reed, A.W. (1994). Aboriginal Stories. Chatswood: Reed books.

Spencer, B. (1914).  Native Tribes of the Northern Territory of Australia
            http://www.sacred-texts.com/aus/ntna/ntna12.htm London: Macmillan And Co.             Chapter X. pp. 331.

Welch, D. (2014). Traditional Life. www.aboriginalculture.com.au. Accessed: November 23rd,   2014.

---

[1] Quote obtained from Stanner, W. E. H.’s White Man got no Dreaming chapter “Religion, Totemism and Symbolism.” (1962).

^[2] Recent statistics based on http://www.creativespirits.info/aboriginalculture/health/aboriginal-alcohol-consumption 

[3] Coexistence of humans and megafauna in Australia: improved stratified evidence. Archaeology in Oceania Vol. 19, Issue 3, pp. 117-119 by Gorecki et. al in October 1984

[4] Flannery 1984

^[5] http://austhrutime.com/aboriginal_totemism.htm Gives a more in depth perspective on these different classifications

Catharsis in death.

I've slacked off on blogging but this really needed to be articulated. Some things have been weighing heavily on my heart to the point of affecting my interpersonal communication and choosing to shut out the world.

5:27pm Mountain Time.... The phone call that result in anguish and relief, simultaneously.

She's gone...

I said some pretty hurtful things to vent-able ears in the past year about how she hurt this family and how my views toward her would lead to apathy upon hearing of her passing. Well, it bit me in the bum as I'm sitting here in confusion, shock, isolation, and all of the other stages of grief. It's almost as if it were the stereotypical tea parties little girls had, except not cute and pink... it's a million shades of dullard grey. I'm pouring an ample amount of tea to each emotion... perhaps offering a bit too much to isolation. Hence, the necessity to find the cathartic composition of a simple post.



In a time where I usually put the brave front for my family, trying to be the solid rock, I can't help but sit in a malaise. Is this normal?

A bit of a back story...

My grandmother Irena was a tough woman. I think I inherited a lot of strength from her, almost to the point of intimidation and scaring potential suitors away...

In her youth, she would go to Ukrainian town parties and bully people. Touch wood, I've never done that. The pen is mightier than the fist or something to that effect. Anyway... she was a single mother by the age of 20 and she certainly had her fair share of father issues. Her son was put up in various foster care and orphanages by her father until my Irena could afford to take care of him. She ended up taking her son, Richard, and moving to Australia.

With nothing to her name and a limited proficiency of the English language (Ukrainian and Polish culture- never forget your roots), she moved in with her sister and brother-in-law to East Maitland. East Maitland is a town of blue collar workers. As of now, it's trying to appease to the younger generation but it is certainly a country bumpkin place, much like Kansas or Oklahoma in the States.

She worked menial jobs here and there just to provide for her sons*. She was married once and that lasted about a year or two... My grandfather, for all intents and purposes, passed away earlier this year.

I don't really know where I was heading with this portion, I guess it was just to give a glimmer of the person that she was. Her struggles in life. The reasons why she was so strong and fought to where she got in life.

Cancer...
That is what killed her.

An avid smoker of 60+ years, trying to quit here and there but with little to no success, Lung Cancer. When I saw her in February, she was adamant about the lung cancer being caused by something else and not the 60+ years of smoking... I get that genetic predisposition may have an effect (think nature and nurture) but c'mon... not that stupid... ***It must be noted that in late 2013-2014, I partook in the cigarette, briefly... have no desire for it... and as a result of my paternal side being chain smokers, swore I would never touch one again***. This isn't the first time she was diagnosed with cancer. In the 70's, she was told she had cervical cancer and had a complete hysterectomy. Bed ridden for months and told that there was still some cancer growth, her life would be cut short. Touch wood, she got to see one of her sons get married, she got to see her grandchildren being born and them growing up.

Her death has put everything in perspective. Don't live life with regrets. Don't forget to say "I Love You" or something of endearment to the people that matter to you most (which at this point- has been my parents, some 10 friends, pets, and brother). Just take what you can from this life because at the end of the day, it's all you can. Some material possessions may make it to the grave with you but everything ends up divvied amongst the living. Make the most memories you can... (Reminds me of the play, "You Can't Take It With You" by George S. Kaufman and Moss Hart).

The only regret that I have is that I spend the trip in February being so pissed off at her for the *family history. I could have said more, done more for her, knowing she was a dying woman... (which is reminiscent of John Mayer's song "Say"... Say what you need to say, be present...) But what probably mattered to her most is that we saw each other, one last time.

*family history- my biological grandfather revealed himself. He was actually my grandmother's brother in law... in all honesty, both of her children were sired by both her brother in laws... My late grandfather, for all intents and purposes, one with whom I share a last name, is nothing more than just a placeholder in her marriage timeline. This is what I was most pissed about because family should never do that to each other. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter. None of it does. You know why it doesn't matter? because my family and I are here as a result of all of this and we have the power to change the world.

With love and light to the woman with whom I shared a birthday for 26 years.
God speed, Grandma.
I hope you find peace in Heaven and get to be reunited with Uncle Ziggy.

Always and Forever,
Your granddaughter C.

New Year, new experiences

Happy 2015! 

Ever since my birthday in August, I have been starting new things- whether it's getting on a motorcycle or trying new recipes. 

I've never truly tried to make Aussie/British treats so I attempted to veganize a favorite in the meat pie.

Here's what I came up with that tastes amazing:

Pastry:

8 oz. flour plus extra for rolling and cutting

8 oz. water

4 oz. coconut oil or earth balance buttery spread

Pinch of salt

Put flour and salt in a mixing bowl. Next, put water and coconut oil in saucepan over medium heat to melt oil and raise to a boil. Once boiled, turn heat off and pour water into flour/salt. Stirring with wooden spoon until incorporated and peels away from bowl. Put dough on a wooden board and knead, appropriately cutting into 24 mini portions (top and bottom for 12 pies) for a muffin tin. Preheat oven to 350*F

Filling (feel free to variate this):

3 oz. dried porcini mushrooms or any other dried mushroom

1 c. Water (reconstitute mushrooms)

1/2 yellow onion

1-2 Tbsps. Canola oil

1/8 Tsp. Sunny Paris spice (Penzey's)

1/8 Tsp. Lemon Pepper spice (Mrs. Dash)

1 Tsp. Dijon mustard

Reconstitute the mushrooms and water in a saucepan. Wait until the water turns a nice dark tan color. Remove from heat and with a slotted spoon, remove the mushrooms into a paper towel and blot dry. Roughly chop the mushrooms. Reserve the liquid. 

On medium high heat, put onions into a canola oiled pan. Cook until onions are partially translucent. Add mushrooms and spices as well as salt to taste. Add some reserved liquid and reduce until thick. Stir in Dijon mustard. Cook until thick. Remove from heat. 

With your pre-made pie crust, spoon in equal amounts of filling. Top with the last twelve pie crusts, sealing together. Make sure to make a little hole(s) at the top to vent.* Place in pre-heated oven and wait for about 30-50 mins (depending on your oven), until they're golden brown. Enjoy!

*You can also add a wash on top with water and cornstarch and salt for a rich coating. 

Branded Bandits, King Washington, Crash Kings

April 3rd, 2014

Larimer Lounge, Denver, Colorado

Branded Bandits, King Washington, Crash Kings 

In 2009, Crash Kings opened for Robert Schwartzman's Rooney along with Tally Hall. It is the first time I had been exposed to this band and, as the saying goes, it was love at first sight! 

The beauty of an alternative rock band sans the guitar was just so intriguing and Antonio Beliveau's captivating vocals along with impeccable bass lines from his brother, Michael, left the audience satisfied and not "high and dry".

 

In 2010, my brother and I won tickets to see them at the Bluebird Theatre in Denver, Colorado (same venue as Rooney show). The captivation amplified exponentially especially hearing a guitar- less version of Black Sabbath's "War Pigs"! After the show had the pleasant opportunity to meet the amazingly down-to-earth and humble brothers along with their former drummer, Jason Morris. 

Fast forward 4 years, between graduating with 2 majors and working multiple jobs in 2 countries as well as traveling, finally had the privilege of attending the April 3rd show with my wonderful concert partner and brother! Both opening acts (Branded Bandits and King Washington) were musically appealing and engaging with the audience. Mr. Billy Lee from King Washington has the moves and the hair!

Finally, 11:15pm rolls around and the boys are back in town gracing the stage with new drummer, Tom Roslak! It is a refreshing dynamic in the band from prior years and all three focus their energies on letting the instruments and profound lyrics do the talking. 

Set list:

6 foot tall

1985

Non believer

It's only Wednesday 

Inside upside Down

Hesitate

Hot fire 

Dressed to the 9's

Shameless little monkeys

You got me

Lonely war

My love

14 arms

All along

New song

Mountain Man

Encore:

Come away

Saving grace

 

Side note: I will admit, I did not know any of the songs from the second album as I had bought it after the show. In amongst the chaos of life, was predominantly focusing on newfound addiction in Gogol Bordello and a few local bands.

This show was one of the best my brother and I had been to in a while! Afterwards, we waited for a bit to meet the three exceptionally talented musicians to express appreciation and support! Of course had to have a photo with Tony (favourite lyricist of this generation and overall fun guy!), Michael (mystifying the bass' true nature and, I have to admit, had a crush since 2009) and Tom (the coolest conversationalist and drummer ever!)

Thank you so much for a wonderful night!

To my readers, if you have the chance- go, go, go see them! You will have an awesome time! 

Time After Time

March 29th, 2013.

9 a.m.

- Cleaning dishes for the zoo animals. Prepping diets. Cleaning behind-the-scenes. HUGE smile on my face.

- Come home at 12 p.m. blasting Aaron Carter's "Oh Aaron" CD, windows rolled down, on the highway.


1:30 p.m.

Getting ready:
-> Eat lunch (at least as much as I could)
-> Brush teeth
-> put on crest whitestrips
-> put on chocolate face mask
-> straighten hair
-> foot bath
-> do my acrylics
-> etc...

Ok, yeah I know it's TMI but still I mean I'm meeting my celebrity crush since age 11. Practically the first guy I liked since coming to the states. Gotta make a good impression...lol.

Anyway so arrived at the venue about 5:45, front row practically guaranteed. Spoke to the two girls behind me and asked to join them since I had gone alone. We then made friends with the two girls in front of me. Feel like I made some lifelong friends through this particular show!

Got into the venue, had to wait a little bit because my good friend, Carson Allen, was doing his sound check! He finished and the 5 of us bolted to the front.


 * * * [Boring details deleted here] * * *

Ok, so Carson performed and he sounds better and better every time I see him. I thought it was beautiful he explained/dedicated one of his songs to his wonderful girlfriend, Melody! Zombie Nicholas and Gino Coletti are two of the most amazing musicians/producers. Love the entire band platonically and as a representation of the americana singer-songwriter.

Next up, The Petrel Sisters! They first followed me on twitter [Twitter.com/aussiebohemian] and I listened to them through youtube! You all should check them out. They've got a wonderful girl power/arse kicking vibe! Jess, Bekah, and Destiny did a great rendition of "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"! Yes we do!

Recommendation- "Bombshell"

Met these girls afterwards and they've definitely got the star power and this personable, down-to-earth quality! Plus, we're all half-italian :-)

* cue drum roll please *

Anticipation for Aaron was brewing as the DJ D*Nyce was blasting up some hip-hop/dance tunes. The ambience emulated a club scene, I guess tying into the tour title "The After Party Tour". Tried to dance, granted I probably looked like some drunk spastic sorority chick (Sigma Alpha Pi baby), but overall, having a ton of fun!

Lights out!

OMG, It's AC!!!
Yes, the 11 year old in me is about to faint... Thankfully the 23 year old in me is just in awe!

He's still got it. All my faves: "Another Earthquake", Medley of "Iko, Iko", "To All The Girls", "I Would"... "That's How I Beat Shaq", "Do U Remember", "I Want Candy", "Aaron's Party"

Wish I had heard "Hey You" but just being in this room and experiencing him essentially one-on-one was phenomenal.

After the show, got to meet him and was absolutely starstruck. [I've lived in the states for 13 years and still have my Australian accent-especially, full throttle, when i'm nervous] Well, he got to hear my Australian accent in all its glory and, as far as I was able to get words out. He's such a sweetheart and I was thankful he was able to articulate my questions for me as far as getting a picture and an autograph.








I recommend everyone go see his show. You will be thanked by your younger self. I can assure you! Not disappointed at all! Still experiencing withdrawals! Come Back to Denver :-)

almost 3 weeks into the new year

It has also been a year of renewal and trying new things.

*  I took a test on my Chakras and realized that my body is too closed. [I also now realize what my acting teachers were telling me when we did our exercises. I'm too analytical and focus too much rather than just living and doing. It's so weird, I can be myself around the familiar faces and even act out in the grocery store, mall, restaurant, etc. but when it comes time to actually perform a piece I don't go to the level i'm suppose to. Things feel coerced.]  I am trying Yoga to balance the chakras and doing tonics to help my body and mind relationship... we'll see how that goes :-)

*  Tried Modeling for the [actual] first time... Went with one of my best friends and it's a lot of fun. Again it's the analytical person inside of me that needs to be turned off. Was a bit frigid and, perhaps, it was the unfamiliarity of the terrain and meeting new people that made me freeze. The other thing I have observed about myself is that I need to be told what to do when it comes to the camera. Sometimes I have to have structure... That poses a problem because it's potential for blackmail and being used.

*  Going Vegan has been pretty hard. Especially going to restaurants- milk, honey, and eggs are in virtually everything... The main accomplishment has been reducing animal byproducts to at most a meal a day. Kryptonite being Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate... It's a dichotomy of the extremes- super sweet, super salty, creamy, and yet gritty. [Side note: I have been a vegetarian for almost 9 years.] oh and the other being Mead/Honey wine... Holy crap that stuff is bloody brills!

*  Livestrong app for iphone has been the cornerstone for losing weight. Unfortunately, I haven't been too kind to my body... only less than 1000 calories per day... in conjunction with exercising fairly regularly. It would be so nice to learn how to love myself instead of hearing the ex-boyfriends' voices in my head telling me that i'm "not skinny enough" for them... It's becoming trite and in order to love someone I have to love myself first...

Mental abuse is something that is so hard to overcome, I have flaws- More moles than Busy Phillips, a bad back, asymmetrical face, small boobs, big butt, hourglass figure, i'm loud/opinionated but by the same token also very shy, . When I was a child I had really ugly teeth and got that fixed when I was in my junior year of high school. It was great to improve just a bit of confidence. I also developed a nasty habit of cutting myself which only added fuel to the fire. I think as much as my mum doesn't believe it, I do think I have/had an eating disorder. [damn it feels great to get this all out of my body, step 1 out of 12 :-)]

*  Practicing with healing crystals and trying a variety of new age practices and responding with the environment. We are the makers of our lives and it would be great to be positive and live a fairy tale life. These things are possible... We are a product of the earth and we communicate with the earth. There are many different ways to do so whether praying, chanting, etc. This has been my form of taking parts of the earth and enveloping into my body.

In a few weeks time I will find out about grad school... I applied to the Miami University in conjunction with the local zoo here and I'm seriously hoping that I can do this! Zoology, animal behavior, and conservation biology are my main passions in life! I love animals more than anything in the world! I would bend over backwards for any animal in harm's way! It's something I've wanted to do since I was 5 years old (well that and a farmer... lol)

*  Found out where the love of my life is going to be in July-August and have decided to go out and see him swim again... He retired and has decided to come back which is absolutely the highlight of my 15 years of loving him since I saw him in the 1998 commonwealth games on TV... I can only hope that I get to meet him. Aside from trying this new age stuff for personal growth, I have donated my time and money to the zoo and animal shelter to accrue good karma. Doing good things for people so I can have a good thing happen to me. It may seem beyond bizarre but it's a theory I'm willing to try, Lord willing.

Anyway that's just been in 3 weeks... to be continued....

Cheers,
CK